Skeletons 1.1 – My Realization

Originally published November 14, 2017

Realization: The Story of My Life – Before & After Recovery

These shoes have kept finding their way into every closet I’ve had for the past 8 years or longer. It occurred to me that I was drunk at least once in every single pair. That made it very easy for me to let them go once and for all. (K, maybe not the bottom left pair. I still love them too much.)

After I took this picture I realized out of the 8 shoes, I was only sober in 2 of them. This means I was drunk in 6 of them and each pair has a story in my “drunkalogue,” except for 2 of them. And at the end of the day, each pair hurt my feet so bad that I swore I would never wear them again (but I still would) except for 1 of them.

And that, my friends, is the story of my life:

I have been married for 8 years (now 11.)

I have been in recovery from alcohol for almost 6 years (now almost 9.)

I have had 2 daughters during that time.

I have countless stories from my glory days and beyond but only 2 that have yet to be told.

And of all the love interests that have hurt me along the way, only 1 revealed himself to me as the love of my life, my husband and father of my children.

If it weren’t for his tough love (which led to a myriad of resentments) I definitely would have kept drinking and created more problems for myself and likely would have tried to bring everyone down with me.

God always knows what I need. And sometimes it’s a swift kick in the ass to restore me to sanity.

Today, He continues to do for me what I cannot do for myself and for that, I am beyond grateful.


Published by Holly "Pixie" Hust

I am a "12 Stepper" who also practices harm reduction recovery in sunny southern California. I am a wife and mother who strives to help other women discover their relationship with alcohol and how they can live their best lives without it.

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