Gidget the Elf

 

img_7598Thanks for stopping by. This page is simply just for shits and gigs during the holidays, the most wonderful time of the year.

Here we have Gidget, our Elf on the Shelf.  I talk about her debut and how she runs her little show in OUR house in a post titled Disclaimer. I tell ya, her antics and notes get better every year. I have no idea where she gets it from (wink wink.)

Merry Christmas, Everyone!!

2018

Visit #1

This year, Gidget was commissioned by Mrs. Claus to help me with some behavior issues we have been having. A1 is now one month shy of 6 years old and A2 is 3 1/2. Now that A1 is reading and writing, this has gotten even MORE fun.

I told the girls that one of the things Gidget was hoping for was that they were trying new foods.  A1 had been asking when Gidget was going to come to our house days before she was supposed to come for her FIRST visit, which was (supposed to be) December 1st. So I told her to write her a welcome note and this is what it said:

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Translation:

“Gidget, I have eaten new food and A2 eated no food.”

I told A1 that wasn’t very nice OR true and that she needed to re-write it.

And so she did.

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Translation:

“Gidget, I have eaten new food and A2 has too.”

 

But then A2 erased it because…well..she’s 3. So then A1 wrote a final welcome note…

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Translation:

F&!k my sister.”

She definitely embodies everything that is the firstborn child and I would know because, I am one.

As you know, I have a little sister too and funnily enough, this year has had a major sister theme going on in my recovery. I’ll share about that in future posts on my blog.

Anyway, Gidget finally came and here’s proof of her first visit:

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Visit #2

The girls made an elaborate “trap” for Gidget (not pictured) with a note requesting money (also not pictured.) Since Gidget is too busy to stick around, I cleaned it up so A1 left her this note:

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Translation:

“Can you hide so we can find you? Do you know what we like about school?”

That evening, there was some intense sibling rivalry going on; as well as the most annoying sound ever: whining!

Gidget came but she didn’t give a shit about what they liked about school.  SNS, she didn’t.  She wanted to talk about the state of their play room, the fighting and whining.

But she did remember that they asked for money and Gidget was feeling generous sooooo…

 

FYI, Gidget was out of $1 bills. But hey, it’s Christmas. The tooth fairy isn’t nearly as generous.

Silly Gidget stayed in A1’s room and was discovered for the first time ever.  A1 couldn’t believe her eyes.  As soon as she left the room, so did Gidget…very swiftly…and then we went to read the note…

…which had been defaced by A2.

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So there’s that.

Visit #3

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Translation:

“You left your hat, Gidget. What I like about Christmas is sharing it with you.”

First of all, that was so cute that she wrote that.

Second, Gidget was not on top of her game this year because she left things behind, and not only once.

That’s what happens when one is in a hurry.

Mistakes happen.

A lot.

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Remember how she was left in A1’s room last time? Well, she left her shield behind too!

So she came back for an unexpected visit to retrieve them and hung out with this LOL doll.

By the way, these little dolls used to freak me out with their big eyes. And allllll the little pieces, I swear…

….I hated them…

…I did…

…but now I totally get the appeal.

 

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Gidget had to make sure they were still sleeping before she left her note.

Well isn’t that precious?

 

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Visit #4
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Transalation:

“Gidget, I’m sorry for screaming. I just did not want to eat the broccoli. xoxoxoxo”

A1 has been hard to feed since she was a baby. Before solid foods, girlfriend would only eat from ME.

And by ME, I mean, my mammary glands.

Almost 6 years later and she continues to be difficult. Even when it comes to eating shit she DOES like.

It’s really really really really really really annoying.

But of course, Gidget still came…2 days later…after we attended a holiday event where Santa was present.

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Visit #5

img_4747Translation:

“We know you made an accident, Gidget, but we laughed at it. We ate your poop. There is a poop right next to the board.”

Now THIS cracked me up.

The “poop” was chocolate covered sunflower seeds purchased from Trader Joes and they totally bought it!

Until A1 caught a glimpse of the box in the cupboard and then I thought I totally blew it.

Good thing I can still “think quick on my feet” and whatever it is I said worked because, I didn’t blow it.

But Gidget DID leave something behind…again…why? Because she was in a hurry…AGAIN. Man, she sounds like me – it takes making the same mistake multiple times before learning a lesson. More often than not, the lesson is learned AFTER I have suffered a consequence (or 2!) Like the car accident I caused the very same morning this visit happened.

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For the record, my little accident was all my fault because again, I was in a hurry. I was bypassing the long AF drop off line at A1’s school. Safely but not – my maneuver was totally legal but I was too close to the line and my passenger side mirror made contact with someone else’s driver side mirror, leaving it dangling like a damn ornament from her car. Yay me (eye roll.)

Resolution 1 of many: STOP.BEING.IN.SUCH.A.FUCKING.HURRY…ALL.THE.TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Visit #6

A1 couldn’t believe Gidget didn’t know it does not snow where we live and asked me how old she was.  So I told her to ask her herself.

img_5230.jpgTranslation:

“Gidget, I think you are a toddler because you don’t know we don’t have snow. My mom buyed them.”

By “them” she means the sheet of cotton that blankets the train table that our little Christmas village sits on.

Pretty sure I’m not going to get away with this next year.

And I’m glad because…well…I feel kinda guilty “lying” about all of this.  But I’ll still keep it up for A2. A1 will love to be my little helper Christmas of 2019.

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Clearly we are entertained by all things “poop” in our house. Haha.

In all seriousness though, I was feeling like poop during this visit; both physically and mentally.

Hence Gidget cozying up to the tinsel turd.

img_5229.jpg Two things: 1) We WERE going to have our first neighborhood holiday shindig but had to cancel it due to H being sick and 2) Why 13? Because “Elf on the Shelf” debuted in 2005, that’s why.

And yes, I had to google that little factoid.

Visit #7

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No translation necessary. Like I said, we think poop is funny in our house.

So they left cookies for Gidget and this was the result:

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Looks like she overdid it.

No surprise there, she and I are two peas in a pod (hehe!)

This is also an accurate depiction of me with a hangover.

And I had many. Now I just get monthly 3 day migraines that FEEL like hangovers.

Lucky me.

Despite her “cookie hang,” Gidget still managed to leave a note because she’s a badass.

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Seriously, I’m on the Plexus Triplex Detox and I feel amazing.

When I quit drinking, my fondness for all things sweet really kicked into high gear.

And unfortunately, I allowed my girls too much sugar too soon.

See what Gidget said at the end there? Welllll…

Visit #8

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Translation:

“Where is Sophia? Gidget, thank you for the cookies!”

Apparently Gidget left a massive tray of cookies on H’s desk and he shared with us.

Tis the season, right?

Who’s Sophia? That’s A1’s fairy.

Not the tooth fairy.

Not the birthday fairy. Just her fairy that keeps forgetting to come through her little fairy door propped up against her bedroom wall. Sophia and A1 write little notes back and forth but she hadn’t stopped by in a while. Hence the question. She and Gidget ARE friends after all.

So she came and left these worthless toys:

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With this note, in her own handwriting, of course:

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Visit #9

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Translation:

“Sophia, I hope Gidget feels better. The End.”

I wish she shared the same empathy during my monthly migraine sufferings but she’s (almost) 6.  She’ll will; probably when she starts HER monthly cycles.

Of course, Sophia did not come again. Gidget did.

 

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Gidget joins the “Good News Angel” in front of the Nativity Advent Calendar.
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Bringing good tidings of comfort and joy…along with a few other items.
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That singing machine was purchased months before on clearance when Toys R Us was closing their doors. I deeply regret not purchasing a second microphone ahead of time.

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Christmas Day

Laying down the foundation, just as my parents did for me when I was A1’s age.

 

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Jesus is the reason for the season.

 


2017

 

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Gidget’s final visit was the night before Christmas Eve. A1&A2 had an overnight with their grandparents so that we could wrap gifts.  So Gidget sent the girls an email…she’s so clever, hehe.

Dear A1 & A2,

I was scrolling through your mom’s phone and found this picture of you and it looked so fun so I had to try it myself. Did you know this angel moves?!?! It was a little bit of a challenge but boy oh boy was it fun.

Anyway, I stopped by last night for my final visit. Man, Santa really piled the work on me this year. It’s all good though, it was fun and worth it knowing how happy it makes you both. Nothing is more important to Mr. & Mrs. Claus than to give you guys the most magical and amazing Christmas year after year.  

A1, can I tell you something else? They also think next year you’ll be old enough to experience the joy of giving to other kids who don’t get to have as amazing of Christmas’ as you. I don’t have time to explain but your parents can explain how that will work later.

I had a lot of fun surprising you girls this Christmas season. It’s time for me go back to the North Pole and take a 6 month nap. I hope you have the bestest Christmas with your families. I gotta say, you guys are THE most blessed and loved children. Never forget that.

Love always,
Gidget

Ps, my present to you is in your mommy’s and daddy’s bathroom. Sounds weird, I know but you’ll see why. (hint, it’s for bathtime!)