If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll know that I proudly shared that I was in recovery from alcohol and still used cannabis. Well…
May 13, 2021
It’s just after 7:00pm and I am anxiously awaiting my meeting to start. Today is Day 7 sober and I’ll be honest, I’m not loving it at all. When I quit drinking, I experienced the “pink cloud” where I felt really good. That dissipated and I wanted to keep drinking for several years into my recovery. Unfortunately, I see no pink cloud in the horizon. My girls continue to send my blood boiling and the urge to smoke stronger and stronger. I just realized I haven’t prayed much today. I haven’t asked God to remove the desire or the obsession 0 and both are still very strong. Why must I be an alcoholic and addict? I know God made me this way so why even ask why? At one point, I looked at my alcoholism as an asset because it threw me into the recovery world where I know I am to find freedom and help others find the same. So why all of a sudden do I want no part of this? And why don’t I want this as bad as I did last week? God, please please please help me change. I want to want sobriety again. I NEED to, that I do know because You have been asking this of me for a long time. I want to obey. I want to do what You ask of me. But I also want what I want and that is to use weed responsibly like I was able to for so long. At this point, the only thing keeping me sober is not disappointing You or the people who have been supporting me on this quest. God, Your will be done, not mine. I love You & trust You. Amen!
How long do you think I lasted?
#morewillberevealed
My Recovery Revealed 
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