Steps

STEP ONE: I admit I am powerless over cigarettes – that my life has become unmanageable (in no particular order.)

  1. I put them before God first thing in the morning.
  2. Smoke with coffee which makes me not hungry for breakfast.
  3. Takes me away from my daughters, leaving them inside.
  4. Makes me smell like shit.
  5. Wastes time.
  6. Makes me look at my phone more than I need to.
  7. Avoidance tactic – takes me away from other responsibilities.
  8. Curbs my appetite, making nothing sound good to eat, putting off nourishment for my mind and body.
  9. Not eating makes me irritable and I lose my cool with daughters, resulting in tears.
  10. Remorse, shame and guilt – I feel like a shit mom.
  11. I let them down every time they catch me smoking…which, isn’t often but still.
  12. Fills me with fear that they will turn into smokers as well.
  13. Fear/risk of judgment by my peers if they knew or find out.
  14. I waste driving time by going home first JUST to smoke before doing anything else after work.
  15. I stop home to smoke after any significant amount of time away from home, wasting more time.
  16. I’m embarrassed by how many times I have said I quit and relapsed.
  17. I have to clean up butts all the time.
  18. Put myself in danger – I have left my bed in the middle of the night and driven to 7-11 because I wanted one right and didn’t want to go in the morning.
  19. Broken countless promises to everyone I love the most.
  20. Easily winded when I am a runner.
  21. Always worried I smell like cigs or going out of my way to make sure that I don’t smell.