It was so quiet and loud at the same time. That’s how I knew it was Him and not me.
It was the afternoon on a Thursday, or a Friday, I don’t remember exactly but it doesn’t matter. No one was home and per usual, I had just smoked in my closet and laid down for a nap. As I laid there, a feeling came over me that I didn’t expect; I did not like being high. I did not like how I felt and wished it would go away. This was very unfamiliar, and I was surprised. Then all of a sudden, I heard it:
“Holly, I can’t use you if you are using.”
It was right then and there that I decided I was going to quit. I didn’t even have to think about it. The conviction was so strong. But, of course, me being me, I wasn’t going to quit that moment. No, I needed to pick a date and thought “are there any special dates in July?”
And there was. About 2 or 3 days later would be a loved one’s birthday.
A loved one who had bouts of sobriety but ultimately succumbed to his addictions and was no longer here on earth. So, it was settled. I decided I would get clean and sober once and for all on his birthday. And until then, I would use whatever I had left and my day one would be the day he were born, 57 years later.
July 12, 2022 came and I finally did something I never saw coming when I first started this blog in 2017.
I was ripping off the band aid and restarting my sobriety date.
Then, it happened. For years, I would hear that if one used cannabis in place of alcohol, it would eventually stop working for them and they would inevitably start drinking. I was certain this would never be me, but, that day finally came and…
…I ordered a drink.
#morewillberevealed
My Recovery Revealed 
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