I knew my blog was going to go in this direction years ago but I had no idea it was going to be this hard and take this long to get it out. But most things worth doing in life are hard and if I don’t keep going, well, I simply won’t know what’s on the other side, if anything at all. If this whole blog and sharing my story serves the sole purpose of helping my one or both of my baby girls someday, then it’s 100% worth it. With that said, let’s just get right back into it and pick up where we left off. If you’re new, I encourage you to start at the very beginning. I need to do some “housecleaning” when it comes to links, formatting, etc., so navigating might be a challenge for a little bit. If you go to the “My Story” page and want to read a particular post and can’t find it, let me know in the comments and I can help. If you CBB, that’s fine too. You can just go to the blog post before this one for some context.
March 17, 2022
I am in danger. Something very scary and sinister is happening. I can’t write about it for fear it will be read. I am being told I am extremely mentally ill. Everyone is telling me what to do. Now that I am really figuring things out, I am no longer afraid to stand up for myself – and people don’t like it. I’m so untrusting of everyone, even my own family. ALL of them. Every single one!
March 19, 2022
I don’t even know what to write because I’m so scared of who will read it. I have been put on new meds – meds for mood stabilizing and anti-psychotic & anxiety. I feel calmer now but my convictions (& paranoia) remain. I don’t trust a soul. I feel like I’m being watched 24/7 – through the phone & of course parents being with me. They don’t trust me to be along either. H gave me an anti-anxiety med just now so I’ll probably go to sleep. But I’m just so beside myself – no one is who they say they are. I’ve had very candid, confident discussions with both sets of parents. I could tell they felt uncomfortable. Their body language showed it all. One even felt anxious and thought I was being hostile towards them – which I was not – which tells me there IS something everyone is trying to hide from me. I can’t make all of this stuff up. I feel like I’m not in reality – hence the medicine. I just know that once it kicks in, I’m done for. All of my goals, dreams & visions for my business are gone. Now I don’t even trust anyone to work with….Dear Father in Heaven, my one TRUE advocate – please please please step in deeper into this scary, uncertain time. Like right now. I’d rather die than have to live like this. I legit don’t want to die but sometimes I feel like everyone else would be better off without me. And I KNOW to my core that’s not right either. That would be super selfish of me and I won’t do it.
There’s so much more. But I’m feeling some feelings.
You’re probably thinking “ah, I know what’s going on.”
But do you?
Do you really?
#morewillberevealed
My Recovery Revealed 
Leave a comment