December 31, 2021
Well, here we are – another year is about to begin. I set out to journal very regularly and I did not. So, I’m going to continue in this one until I fill it all the way up. Sigh. What can I reflect on? This year pretty much sucked. I’m going to go back and read what I wrote and come back…
Okay, I read most of it. DEPRESSION owned me this year. And if I’m being honest, I still feel many of the same feelings I did this year. Disconected from God…disconnected from myself. Not living up to my full potential. Doing the bare minimum. Procrastinating. Sleeping a lot. Smoking cigs. I basically didn’t grow at all this year. Yes, I managed to lose 10 pounds but that’s it. I didn’t write. I didn’t grow my biz. I didn’t do shit. And I’m really beating myself up over it. Satan, flee from me in the name of Jesus Christ. I refuse to allow negative thinking and behaviors to shape 2022. So here we go, I need to write down how I intend to show up in this new year. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Where do I even begin? Spiritually – because God must come first. My faith and walk must be #1 and the rest will fall into place. So how do I plan to get spiritually fit in 2022? Devotions 3x a day. Memorize a Bible verse every week. Go back to church and stay consistent. Bible study! I really need to join Bible study again. I need to ask to change my scheduule so I can go. Pray pray pray. Pray every day!
I don’t really want to keep writing. I actually want to go back to sleep. Why? Because I don’t want to be awake. Why? Because I’m depressed!! God, please remove this from me. Holy Spirit take over!
Alcohol is a depressant. I drank because I was depressed, and I was depressed because I drank.
But I wasn’t drinking. At this point in my recovery, I was coming up on 10 years without a drink.
So, what was it then?
What was getting in my way?
What was the problem?
Me!
I was the problem.
It was me!
#morewillberevealed
My Recovery Revealed 
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